.........

just an hour ago, i received terrible news. my friend's father was dead. killed actually. slashed by some fucking bastards who wanted to rob his shop. sliced open for money. my friend's father...not some stranger. not some news that i read in a newspaper or saw on TV. this boy, i have known him for years, he is always grinning and cracking some silly jokes. this 23 year old boy, just an hour ago, was wailing and screaming on the phone...telling his father is dead. 

now, he is at the mortuary...staring at the white wall, all he hears is a deafening buzz, all he feels is a big void. i dont know what to say, i dont know how to say it.what do you say to a person who has just lost a parent? i nearly lost my father, 13 years ago...i remember shutting everything and everyone out...i remember pretending that my father was away on a trip, not in the CCU, fighting for his life...i remember crying in the school toilet when the reality hits me..so what do you say to someone who has just lost a parent? i dont know what to say... all i can do is cry, feel his pain...feel my friends' pain..this boy is the third friend of mine who lost a parent in this year alone...and all i can do is feel their pain...i am sorry guys...

for those of us who are still lucky, blessed with both our parents...please treasure them. i know, we have our moments, our fights, but always treasure them...cause, they can be taken away from us at any tyme, in any place...give them a hug, a peck on the cheeks and say that u love them...

mom and dad....i love you!

honesty part 2

today is the 4th of December 2010. i started this course on the 4th of July 2005. it has been exactly 5 years and 5 months. it has been 5 years and 5 months of studying, notes, classes, exams and presentations. 5 years and 5 months of good memories and bad memories. 5 years and 5 months of friendship and hypocrisy. 5 years and 5 months of many things. and honestly i am fucking sick of it....

 

i miss UUM

i miss UUM,

i miss my room in MISC,

i miss the lame ol' MISC cafe where i used to hangout with Anusuriyah, Paulinaa, Jaya and Karthik,

i miss the MISC cc,

i miss Petro's nasi goreng sardin with telur dadar,

i miss the long walks to the Varsity Mall to withdraw money,

i miss DKG5 where i used to study with Dalwin, Hisham, Er, Aidie, Mansor and Japp,

i miss the bus rides to classes,

i miss the Guthrie Lake,

i miss the enormous library and all the books in it,

i miss Subaidah's roti nan and tandoori set,

i miss the charted bus rides back to Ipoh,

i miss the labyrinth that we have to walk thru just to get to a lecturer's room,

i miss Nelson's curry mee,

i miss all the Pak Arabs and the black fellas,

i miss Jitra Mall,

i miss the vegetarian food in Alor Star,

i miss the trees,

i miss the paddy fields,

i miss everything....

unknown

i try as hard as i can, but it never seems enough,
i try to let go, sometimes i think i have...
but it is never the case..i always keep coming back to the same place.

same despair. the same deep end. the same shit...

never can let go, never could hold it tight,
like walking on a tight rope, a never ending balancing act. when will it end? when will i escape?

honesty part 1

things i would like to say to :

kesha : woman, your 15 minutes is up. please stop wearing trash bags and wrestler outfits. u look so damn pathetic.

jonas brothers : you guys are not so cool la...please la...

miley cyrus : stop pouting, ur mouth looked like a duck's arse in 'The Last Song'. and please stop singing ballads and stick to those pop tunes, cause no matter what other ppl say, ur not reli that good, as a singer or an actor.

sean kingston : ur song 'Face Drop' ~ said i would look betta if i was thinner, dun u noe u should love for me inner... ~ well, brother, i dun see u dating any chubby gals..practice wat u preach man!

joan rivers ( fashion police ) : u love to slam other people's choice of clothes, but have u looked in the mirror before, you over botox-ed woman? u look bad, real bad!

justin bieber : go get a hair cut...

all old indian actors : please stop acting as heroes, u guys are darn OLD!!

from kampar with love

okay la, i gotta admit, KAMPAR is not that bad lar..after more than 5 years of verbally abusing this small district, i finally admit la, kampar is a nice place. 

For the 1st 17 years of my life, i always thought very little of kampar. i mean, to me, its just the place that comes after Gopeng. No big deal. Then, in 2005, i met Dalwinder Kaur Dhillon and all she could talk about was kampar. kampar this, kampar that, kampar has this, kampar has that.. she even did an oral presentation about how developed is Kampar... ( i think the whole class poked fun at her on that day, even Mr.Hussein said : ' Dalwin, kampar is a dead town.' )  

Well, to my fellow TEYL friends and Mr.Hussein , Kampar is definitely not a dead town...( but is kinda of kubur-ish la, got alot of cemeteries, strewn across the mountains, huhu ). 

Kampar, is one of those small towns that has a rustic appeal..sort of laid back and peaceful. yeah, its not as 'meriah' as KL or penang but it has its own charms...the lakes, the mountains and the low lying clouds  paints a beautiful scenery and the UTAR campus was a sweet reminiscence of UUM. and  to all the foodies out there,  Kampar serves one of the BEST claypot chicken rice i have ever tasted. i am claypot junkie, so u betta believe me when i say its good.some of u might think i am biased and just saying this to please my Kampar host/tour guide, but its true.. u gotta go to kampar to noe that i am telling the truth....

PS : people, kampar is not so ulu aso...gt nice hotel la. Grand Kampar !

 

начало

okay, seriously, i dont know what possessed me in creating this blog thingy today. there i was sitting in the living room of my house and suddenly i walked up to my laptop, plugged in my broadband and started creating a blogspot account. i did my profile, uploaded a picture, chose a cool name for the page, picked out a template and den..........NADA! nothing...i realize i dun really have anything great or monumental to write! i have stalked many blogs of other people, friends ( namely sharm, dalwin, aslam, fairizee ) and strangers, and i think i have stalked enough blogs to know that the first entry always has to monumental or great. it is the first entry that will make or break your blogging future and i think my future in blogging is down the drain. frankly, this is my third attempt of a MONUMENTAL first blog entry and i dont think i am doing a good job here.well, i think i am gonna stop here right now and come back when i have something MONUMENTAL or GREAT to write about. i am going to Penang tomorrow and who knows, sometihng might happen and then i will have something to write about. at least my second blog entry will be something GREAT! 

~ roger & out ~